National Breastfeeding week

In celebration of national breastfeeding week I wanted to take the time to write a post about my experience breastfeeding BabyD. Everyone says that becoming a parent changes your life and I have to agree that yes it does. Of course I wasn't naive going into parenthood thinking it wouldn't change me, but it was the understanding of what part of me would change and where my beliefs would end up is what surprised me.

During pregnancy I had made the decision to breastfeed. Most of it was due to the fact that it seemed natural to me. My mother breastfeed my sister and I, and although I have no memory of it, I also had no fear of it either. Secondly, it is free. No bottles to buy, wash, and fill. No formula to prepare and buy - seemed like a good deal to me. Lastly, it has been proven in countless studies that it is a superior form of nutrition and has precious antibodies from mother. I do understand that being fed formula is not a bad thing. Plenty of babies have grown up to be healthy adults being formula fed, but if I could give this gift to my child, I wanted to make the commitment. I would be taking the time to feed my baby anyways, so it might as well come from the best place on earth.

Our first attempt at breastfeeding was not what I had imagined. I wanted to feed immediately after birth, preferably before the umbilical cord was cut. But, due to the situation, I was unable. It was awhile before I woke up from surgery, and I was just so shocked to be handed a baby that breastfeeding was the last thing on my mind. I was still coming to grips with my birth and then to just be handed a baby was mind boggling. I believe the morphine assisted with those feelings. I don't remember who finally suggested it and said "feed the baby", but my mind got through the drug induced fog and we started our first of many feedings. I had read all the books about positioning and latching, but it was much more difficult than I expected. I couldn't figure out how to get the baby at the right angle. Then I couldn't figure out how to be me at the right angle. With the help of my husband and mother, we finally got me and Baby D in the right spot.

Although it was hard to position Baby D, I was ready to take on breastfeeding. I didn't care who was in the room or who saw me. For that first feeding I ripped off my gown and exposed it all for my family to see. If they had a problem with it, they could leave. I am thankful to have such wonderful people in my life that support me fully that everyone treated breastfeed as what it is supposed to be, a natural and beautiful act between a mother and baby.

I enthusiastically fed Baby D during our hospital stay and took all the help I could from the lactation consultants. With every session our latch improved and position became easier. Not perfect, but easier. The first challenge came at home when my milk came in. One minute everything was normal and the next minute I had two bowling balls on my chest. I was in pain and I was starting to exhibit wear and tear from imperfect latch. I am very thankful that my mother was available to help me. The best advice she gave me to was apply hot compress in order to soften my breasts. This enabled Baby D to have something to latch on. He was having difficulties latching onto the bowling balls, and using the heat to soften things up enabled us to feed properly. Unfortunately, we still had some wear and tear. Thankfully, the next day I had an appointment with the lactation consultant that is on staff at our pediatrician's office. That is one day I will never forget, one simple adjustment in positioning and voila! all the pain was gone. I was so thankful to her that I almost cried.

We continued with our daily routine of diapers and feeding, repeat. In the evenings BabyD would be rather fussy and just want to nurse constantly. I questioned myself as a parent and as a breastfeeding mom. Was I doing the right thing? Was this supposed to happen? Is he getting enough to eat? Why do I feel chained to the couch? I was happy that I found the support I needed in my favorite website KellyMom. I would read the same pages over and over assuring myself that everything that was happening was normal and that I was doing a good job. This was the best support I could have asked for. Any time of the day or night I could read these words or look up a passage and know that things were ok, and I just had to keep on going. Sure, the support of D and my mother were key as well, but at least the website didn't blink when I asked for assurance on the same topic 5 days in a row.

Every day is easier and easier. BabyD is getting better and more efficient and I am missing our long breastfeeding sessions from when he was a little guy. I love the time we cuddle and to watch his eyes droop as he drifts off into baby dreamland. My new favorite breastfeeding moment happens during the day time when BabyD just needs a snack and not a nap after feeding. He unlatches by smiling. The biggest grin grows on his face as he pulls away satisfied from his meal. It melts my hear every time. I am giving my son life, and he is thanking me for it in his own baby way.

I have grown and changed as a person. I have changed into not only a mom, but I have also become a lactivist. I am passionate about breastfeeding. I am in awe of the miracle of being able to give me son all of his nutritional needs that it brings tears to my eyes. I see the relief of hunger after BabyD latches on and I can't imagine not breastfeeding. The idea of stopping breastfeeding makes me want to cry. I want to help any woman who has the desire to breastfeed their children. I also want to help educate the public who are nervous seeing breastfeeding mothers. No matter what else happens in my life, I will always remain a lactivist and cherish the memories from breastfeeding BabyD. Happy National Breastfeeding Week to all the breastfeeding mothers out there.